If I Could Turn Bach Time

* The following is an older blog that I wrote the day before Thanksgiving of 2006 and only posted on my myspace. So, without further ado, here is the article in all its glory.

Every once in a while something happens that restores your faith in the fact that almost everything you think about the world is correct. Tonight, was one of those moments. For I, Eric Truchan, have finally seen, in person, Sebastian Bach of Skid Row. And let me tell, you, I hate everything right now.

This evening I stopped over at Vintage Vinyl to buy a cd or two and walked in on a store cramped full of over-the-hill-hair-metal moms and dirty kids in hooded sweatshirts who probably fix a lot of mopeds. A line twisted all around the walls to a lone table near the back of the store. It was then I heard the loud cry of the most annoying fucking man I've ever seen. Let me rephrase. The most annoying man I've ever seen who will probably always make more money than me. There he was, Sebastian "Doucheballs" Bach, Sharpie in hand, ready to meet the masses.

During my stay, which was probably 15 minutes, I heard and witnessed many things that almost ruined my chipper Thanksgiving mood. A list if you will:

1). An obese, menopausal woman in red leather, running around the store with a guitar screaming, "He signed my guitar! He signed my guitar!"

2). Sebastian Bach screaming at the top of his lungs, out of the blue, "GOD BLESS ROCK AND ROLL!!!" The crowd then cheered in unison, fists to the air, with a few random "FUCK YEA[s]!" thrown in the mix.

3). Mr. Bach headbanging relentlessly to his own music, which blasted over the store's speakers the entire time I was there, and probably played plenty long after I was gone.

4). A group of 5 or 6 women in their mid-30's walking out of the store with their signed posters thanking each other for dinner and saying things like "This was really fun you guys" and "We should do things more often together."

5). A 2 year old girl running around while their mom tried to wrangle her up and explain to her who Sebastian Bach was and why he was important.

I'm not sure what this proved to me about the world but I can't seem to Rattlesnake Shake this dirty, depressed feeling. I guess most people like stupid things.
Happy Thanksgiving.