Chachi or No Chaci? Every Vote Matters!

Back in the late '90s, Nick at Nite introduced "Happy Days" into their nightly lineup of baby boom nostalgia and post Vietnam moonlighting. And I was glued to my television. Oh, that Fonz was quite a role model to my middle school self. I wanted to punch every jukebox and make it spark into action. I wanted to be Ralph Malph and come out with the COOLEST one liners at Arnold's restaurant, or an establishement of similar interest. I wanted to take my awkwardness and spin it into Richie Cunningham gold the way he could, episode after episode. But I couldn't. Everyday was another fat joke and spelling test for me.

But Nick at Nite gave me a chance to have a say in the world a full seven years before I could vote for president. One night, they announced that you could vote whether you liked your "Happy Days" episodes "Chachi-nated" or "Un-Chachi-nated". For those of you who are confused, Chachi-nated meant you preferred the episodes of "Happy Days" featuring Fonzie's cousin, Chachi Arcola, played by past Tiger Beat phenom Scott Baio. If you liked your episodes un-Chachi-nated, that meant you enjoyed the carefree days of timeless issues of teenage love, high school hi jinx, and self-esteem issues that comprised the original themes of the show. It was a way for Nick at Nite to conduct a pre-"American Idol "phone in championship to rate the 2 phases of the show. In a way, it was like "Family Matters." Do you like the show when the "family mattered," or did you like it when Urkel started splicing his genes into superhunks and exploring space with time travel machines?

I was ecstatic to have a say in something so important. I, Eric Truchan, would be able to judge the significant plot devices of a pop culture, television juggernaut such as "Happy Days." I dialed, with parent permission of course, and voted for the shitty period of the show, when Chachi entered the picture. Hence, I voted for my episodes to be Chachi-nated. I mattered in the world! Chaci's street smarts, like Fanzie's, made me jealous of that fact that my book smarts meant shit. Plus, he was my age, and thin to boot! Girls liked him. He talked with a tough, Italian accent that made him seem infallible. I was weak, and he got my vote. He would speak for me, and I, vicariously, through him.

For a whole week, I waited anxiously by my post 8 PM television set, waiting for Nick at Nite to tally its totals. Would Scott Baio win, or would the original charm of the show win out? Finally, Nick at Nite announced that Chachi-nated episodes won. YES! I was victorious. My vote had been included, and Chachi was king of the happiest days of them all. The original episodes didn't matter any more. The only thing that mattered was Chachi and me.

At the present moment, I'm watching Chachi, aka Scott Baio, on VH1, whoring his girlfriend and himelf off for money as they let TV cameras film the oncoming of their first child. Now, I'm appalled I let my chubby little fingers call Nick at Nite and vote for my episodes to be, as they said, "Chocked full of Chachi." I want my vote back. I want Richie, and Ralph, and Anson Williams himself to convene at Arnold's and eat a hamburger. It's on me, fellas. Preferable, while Rivers Cuomo and the 90's Weezer gang play "Buddy Holly" behind them. I am now, in my wise old age, officially Un-Chachi-nated. Sorry Scott Baio. (I get into a car with Jenna Elfman in "Can't Hardly Wait" wearing angel wings. (side note: what's up with Jenna Elfman?))